Fur Elise 

The leaf red fell down and joined the others. The squirrel chattered into the wind and found no help to be had. A glaze of water coated the tree and ground, and I was sitting on the porch, wrapped in a thick blanket in the rocking chair watching it all go down. 

I saw a small herd of deer flit across the lawn and disappear into the neighboring hedges. A blue cloud emanated from my pipe and the incoming draw lit its contents aglow. My breath flowed, pouring streams out my slightly open mouth and drifting away down the boulevard.

I’m thinking of

… Summer, specifically the Lake, on mildly cloudy days playing peek a boo with the Sun out on the water, a little ways from shore bobbing around with the seagulls and soaking in the relaxation. Letting my mind flow freely towards lazy days reading under a tree or in the tree the wind creating static noises as it flutters the leaves around me. 

This is what I think of, places and scenes where I’m alive and receptive to all of the world. The ant crawling up the tree trunk, the butterfly that landed upon my kayak. The world from a tree’s point of view, and the glints and play of light on the water as the wind blows past the setting sun. Alone and yet not lonely I can keep time with my heart beats and let my mind dance to the sound of birds songs or crashing waves. 

This is what I think of when I’m having trouble quieting the storm inside. Terrible and frozen feeling thick inside.

I’m a Killer and my Target is …

Lassie. That bitch has got to go. Turns out she’s been pushing Timmy down the well all this time just to get treats. Timmy’s got a couple hundred thousand clams riding on me splattering her brains one way or another across the field. The question that bothers me is how.

I could run her down with a car. Have the family call her from across the pasture and mow her down, fur flying, engine revving, smell of burnt flesh wafting from my ever farther away tailpipe. But maybe she’s too smart for that kind of a dog trick. I’d bet she looks both ways before crossing any road and she would see it coming.

Think, think. I know.

Have the family take her out into the woods for a hunting trip and just as she reaches for the duck my hand can reach down from below and pull her down into a watery oblivion. Except maybe she’s a strong swimmer. 

Fuck!

I know I’ll call her out near the ledge and drop a boulder on her. Flattened. There’s no way she could see it coming. Me, a fulcrum, a lever, “Lassie!” and roll and squish. Except that would take a lot to setup and working with so much weight could always backfire. The rock could roll backwards and turn me into a pancake.

No that won’t do.

I know, I’ll strap roller skates onto my feet and rope a rocket to my back and chase her down and scoop her up dropping her from a great height before the rocket. Wait. Rockets explode. Bad idea.

Hrm on second thought. I’ll just give the kid his money back. Let some other sucker take on this job.

The unwanted guest

Josh was cutting it up with the lamp shade on his head, prancing around pantless making moose noises, classic, when Sheila came in out of the pouring rain.

Bedraggled and enraged she let out a primal scream and lept onto Josh’s back beating him senseless with her handbag. I swear she had rocks in there. 

After he fell, she picked herself up and grimaced a wide evil grin at the crowd that now encircled her and Josh’s unconscious body. With a jaguar like agility she sprang towards Jill catching her chin in a perfectly arched uppercut laying her out in a single blow.